Ladies, and gentlemen, Judith Griggs. Because the internet isn't public domain, and victims of plagiarism should not, in fact, thank people who profit off their work for "publicizing" and "editing" it.
I do love me a good google-bombing.

I had some truly insane dreams last night, the first part of which involved being part of a news reporting team that was interviewing Ryan Seacrest, and I took great pains to make sure he understood that I thought of him as an tiny, adorable, hyperactive and slightly retarded puppy in terms of the hollywood hierarchy. He was a little put out by this, but I think he realized that it was The Truth. I also made fun of the incredibly homosexual decorating in Zac Efron's new apartment.
But! this was when a tooth started coming loose in my mouth! AND I HATE TOOTH DREAMS. I hate them SO MUCH. So in the dream, my immediate thought was as follows:
"Oh my god my tooth! there's blood in my mouth! Are they all going to fall out now? AM I IN A DREAM? I'D BETTER CHECK MY TOTEM."
And here is the truly ridiculous part because I did check my totem, and IT TOTALLY WORKED. The most sensible thing to have in verifying dream vs. reality is a watch of some kind, so I pulled out a pocketwatch and checked to see if it looked or behaved anything like any of the pocket or pendant watches I actually owned. And it did not! and I was convinced that I was in a dream! and the fact that my mouth was full of blood was not nightmare-inducing because I figured it would stop after a while. And it did!

and I woke up a little bit and then went back to sleep and I was in a finale episode of some unaired season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and everything was very tense. But at least I could tell that time wasn't behaving normally! muahaha.

I'm not sure if this experience makes me incredibly pathetic or just incredibly awesome and capable. Now, to finish filling out this other job application. woooooo.

Dear Netflix:

You are awesome in several ways, but the most awesome, I have come to realize this summer, is your Instant selection. I'm living without a television at the moment, and the saddest thing in the world is that I, an unrepentant nerd who has loved the Discovery Channel since its inception (in the year of my birth, no less!) CANNOT WATCH SHARK WEEK THIS YEAR.
Do you know what a tragedy this is? can you conceive of it???

Clearly you can, Netflix, for you've made several selections from Shark Weeks of years past available for my viewing pleasure on instant. So consider this my deep and heartfelt thanks. I shall now return to watching last year's Blood In The Water, dramatizing the attacks that inspired Jaws. HELL. YES.

Yours ever,

Auggie


(SHARK WEEK, PEOPLE. IT IS ONNN.)

WHY HELLO FRIENDS

I was up until 3am and I've eaten nothing today but half a banana, so if I'm incoherent, this is why. BUT! I have been in a haze of crazy crazy Inception fanart for a week or so now, and now I'm dumping it all here. MUAHAHAHAA.



Notice how that one links to a Cafepress shop. I was lured onto Tumblr last night and people seemed to go a little crazy. This is one of the reasons why I love internet fandom.
( The madness continues below! )

Happy Moment of the Day #1: Taking my "Gabriel's Wings" shawl off the blocking pins and wires and discovering that it is gorgeous, comfy enough to wear as a neckerchief, and much larger than I expected given how little yarn it took. SUCCESS!

Happy Moment of the Day #2: Making a midnight snack of fried egg sandwich: my little egg cooking in my little cast-iron skillet (a #3 Griswold I found for under $10 at the antiques store in Geneva, OH my god I love it), which is Baby Skillet's Very First Use, and instead of sticking, as I had expected, the egg is swimming and sliding in its bath of brown butter and Baby Skillet is my new best friend.

Happy Moment of the Day #3: Writing Inception fanfic and turning art discussion into a parade of double entendres. HELL YES. I only wish I could have finished this fic before I got too sleepy. meh.

So, by some CRAZY MIRACLE Kara found a review tacked up on the fridge of the place where she was housesitting indicating that there was a community production of GUTENBERG! THE MUSICAL! happening actually RIGHT NOW. And Emily is visiting me and she leaves tomorrow. So we bought tickets online and saw the matinee today and IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. And by "the best thing ever" I mean that it was me, Emily and Kara, and 40 seniors. Who did not laugh.

BUT WE LAUGHED! WE LAUGHED SO LOUD AND IT WAS US AND THE LADIES WHO WORK AT THE THEATER AND IT WAS A RIOT. omg. have not laughed that hard in aaages. Or since seeing Eddie Izzard a couple months ago at the Fox.

the guys playing Bud and Doug were adoooorable (Bud especially, sooo gay we thought for a moment he was actually playing Doug) and were looking at us pretty much the whole time (and who else was available to be encouraged to marry Bud? the grandmas in font of us?) and yes. Words cannot describe the funny. aaaaaaaah so glad I managed to see this through CRAZY RANDOM HAPPENSTANCE

Afterwards we hung around and eventually ran into Ben (I think it was Ben?) who'd played Bud and he was like "Are you the awesome girls who were laughing so hard?" and we were like "YES YES WE ARE" and they both expressed insane enthusaism that we'd come, since there would have been NO LAUGHS WITHOUT US and they were actually way more excited about meeting us than we were about meeting them (even though I was tooooootally excited) and it was just so cute. omg. I need to go to more shows at this place, it rocks.

On the drive back Emily was telling a story about hilarious eye contact one time while she was seeing the Sweeney tour because she laughs so loud, and stopped mid-sentence because at the stoplight NEXT TO US was the guy who played Doug, pointing at us in hilarious surprise and waving. BEST DAY EVER.

I would gush more but my lady has to pack, boohoo boohoo, and I have to figure out what to cook for dinner tonight. We will watch The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. WOOOOO
<3<3<3

my sincerest apologies, talksick42 ! ohhhhhh my god, I'm a terrible slacker and apparently unable to update this fic with anything approaching regularity and I hate myself for it and blah blah blah pity party, ignore me. If you want, you all can blame my slowness in updating on LOST. In fact, please blame Island!Jack in particular.
Here are Part One and Part Two. I seem to have finally figured out where the plot is going so a lot of this is wordy and I decided to have the fun part near the beginning.

Travels in the Waste Land
Rating: Some sex. I use the dreaded c-word.
Pairings: Holmes/Watson, Guilt/Watson, Holmes/Exposition, Plot/My Ass


( I've had it with the motherfucking exposition on this motherfucking train! )

Today's Lost is brought to you by Tyr, the god of single combat, victory and heroic glory.  Tyr lends his name to Tuesday, and since its move, Lost on Tuesday has become a place where Shit Goes Down, Y'all.

Tonight we saw some single combat, some victory, and glory (slow-motion sauntering glory, no less!) though the heroic-ness is dubious. All spearheaded (or knifepointed) by Lost's own god of war, who takes us down a road fraught with moral conflict in universes Clean and Unclean, and yet his hair remains fabulously conditioned the entire time.

That's right friends, we've got a Sayid episode:

( Rambly Bullet Points About Sundown: )

I'm going to leave you with some REALLY INTERESTING things I learned about Tyr, and how it can be connected to the events of tonight's episode:

( Spoilery Mythological Speculation! )

Okay. Kara and I did a 5.3 mile hike in the bluffs around the Missouri river this afternoon, and it was MUDDY and INSANE and I am EXHAUSTED but I feel absolutely wonderful. A deeply rewarding and spiritual experience. I can't wait to do this trail again closer to spring, or maybe just sometime when the paths are actually packed earth and not so much mud that tries to suck my shoes off.

And once I got home I gorged myself on FISH PIE that I made from scratch last night, and it is even BETTER on the second day, oh my god it's delicious. Also there was cornbread. And now I'm probably going to take a nap. yessss Saturday as it should be!

OR: what happens when I watch a truly, truly terrible Sherlock Holmes movie (by Asylum, the same illustrious production company that gave us Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus) in a Ustream chat with taconaco , x3_chan , and piss_and_ink .  I love you guys! please never stop being hilarious. Please note that my icon of ridiculous dead John Wilkes Booth is used because of its disturbing resemblance to Asylum!Watson and his ENORMOUS JAM-FILLED JOWLS.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS WATSON IS PLAYED BY GARETH DAVID-LLOYD. IANTO IS NOW STRANGE, TERRIBLY-COIFFED, BLOATED INCOMPETENT BABYSITTER WATSON.
That's not even the craziest part. There are DINOSAURS. and a KRAKEN. and DRAGONS. and some sort of steampunk Iron Man getup and Sherlock's actual name is apparently ROBERT and it was all too cracktacular.

I keep coming back to Ianto!Watson, though, because it was hilarious and terrible and clearly New Watson Likes Jam We're Very Happy and I have to wonder, if Asylum was courting various former Doctor Who or Related Spinoffs cast members to be in this travesty, Gareth is nnnoot my first pick. Because they make these horrible movies to cash in on the market of current blockbusters, and Hotson versus Jamson is really no contest, my friends. Sorry Jamson.

And now I'm envisioning my ideal Who-Reboot Sherlock Holmes casting: Christopher Eccleston and John Simm. Nine!Holmes and Master!Watson. PLEASE TELL ME I'M CRAZY AND THAT'S NOT THE MOST TOTALLY AWESOME CHEAPER!HOLMES MOVIE CASTING EVER.
Russell T Davies, make my Holmes dream come true! Do me a solid, buddy!